Oh Come On!!! You have got to be kidding!

As you may be able to tell, when I don't really have that much to talk about, I revert to the weather. It isn't as though I am weather geek or anything, I don't have the weather channel playing in my room or anything, I just well, simply, it's god awful HOT here. As an example I will show you the weather forecast from my computer. I took this screen shot just after noon, before the hot part of the day. Please pay particular attention to Monday's weather. I envision birds flying along and simply bursting into flames. Should be fun. I will try to take pictures but I expect that the camera will melt.



Unless you have experienced this you just can't understand (I love that line). Seriously though you can't even think when it is this hot which is probably why I don't have much else to say.

I did run this morning. It was a run at your own pace and distance thing. I did three miles which was plenty since I plan on riding about 24 tomorrow morning. When I started riding one of my coworkers opined that my run times would get worse. I knew better. Two and a half weeks of riding and I have dropped 15 seconds per mile at any distance at a lower heart rate. I think I'll keep riding.

I'll be sure to update you on the ride tomorrow.

Well, clearly I should have known that...

Remember this for later: Function-Option-F11. This is something I should have known.

So I have been riding more lately. I have also been generally working out more too. One of the things that I like to do is quantify my workouts. There are lots of devices available now-a-days to help you do that. One of the best solutions right now is the Garmin Edge 305 or Garmin Forerunner 305. The Edge is a bike mounted GPS that not only gives you distance and speed but also includes a heart rate monitor and an optional pedal cadence sensor. The Forerunner 305 is similar but smaller and watch based designed for running. It too has a heart rate monitor and you can still add the pedal cadence sensor if you use it on a bike.

Both of these things are really cool but don't really come into their own until you download the data to some computer program. Garmin runs a website called Motionbased which allows you to put your recorded GPS track on a map of nearly any type, topographic, overhead satellite shot, whatever. And then you can integrate your heart rate data and get descent and ascent rates and all sorts of other data. Really cool. Especially for a data geek like me.

I however, don't have either of these neat toys. I have a Polar S625X Heart Rate Monitor. This thing is designed for multi-sport athletes and has a foot-pod that tracks how far your foot moves and through this gives you distance and pace while running or walking. The watch has a pressure and temperature sensor that tracks altitude, it has the option to also run it on a bike where you can add a bike speed sensor, cadence sensor, and power meter that all feed data right back to the watch. You can then load all of this data onto your computer and analyze it. You can see your elevation track, and heart rate tracked against speed and elevation and temperature and time. Lots of geeky data for me. Of course you can only do that if you have Windows because the software doesn’t work on a Mac.

Well, that’s annoying.

Fortunately, the Mac is the coolest computer ever. I can boot up in Windows with a free program called Boot Camp!

So, I got the Polar Software sent to me by my dad and I have been using it for a few weeks. It works great. I wanted to share a ride with everyone today. Not for any real reason or because it was neat or difficult or I did really well, but because I can. Then I realized I can’t.

Turns out one of the easiest ways to share one of these graphs with people is through a screenshot. Then I realized that the Mac is missing a crucial key on the keyboard that every Windows based computer has: Print Screen. Well after quite a bit of searching I found out that after updating Boot Camp to version 1.3 I will be able to take a screenshot by hitting…

Damnit, what was that key combination. I really should have written that down.

Oh, yea, Function-Option-F11.

Why didn’t I know that?

Postscript: The screenshot of the ride will have to wait until later, I just don’t have the energy right now.

I am an inveterate tinkerer.

I simply can’t leave well enough alone. I bought a Subaru WRX when they came out in 2002. It was fast, it was fun, and within months I was modifying it. It was fine but I felt the need to modify anyway.

The same is true with my computer. Once I get it running nicely, I add something to either the hardware or the software because I simply can’t leave well enough alone.

This of course brings me to my bikes. Yes, plural. For those of you who don’t know me, I have many. For those of you who don’t know me but are serious cyclists your next thought after reading that was probably, “Well of course you do!”

I can’t stop modifying my bikes. Right now of course I am only talking about my Specialized Hardrock XC that I purchased from Mountainside Ski and Sports in Mechanicsburg, PA. They were kind enough to ship it all the way here to Iraq where it arrived a few days later. The bike was perfect, so of course I started modifying it. So far I have added a Garmin GPS, a Polar Speed Sensor, P1 Overendz Bar Ends, water bottle cages, and the crown jewels: Crank Brothers Eggbeater Pedals.

Last night I decided to play with my camera and take some pictures. Here are the pedals. You can probably tell where the name comes from.


Postscript: A further update on “Ouch”: I have two more days before I am supposed to do any physical activity with my hands. Today, I ran and did push-ups, tomorrow I am going for a ride. (Yea, I’m an idiot.)

An update on "Ouch"

So I went to the medic this afternoon. It all started well because the first thing she told me was to take off my shirt. Woo Hoo!!! (Yea, I'm an idiot.)

She asked me what I did and I told her I had crashed my bike. She is clearly a cyclist because the next question was, "Is the bike ok?" I told her that it was fine and then she asked me what I had done. I told her again that I had crashed my bike. I didn't really feel like explaining that I was screwing around and got hurt doing it and there wasn't even a camera there to record it. Besides, at this point I had my shirt off and I am feeling rather vulnerable.

She asked again, "No, what did you DO and how did you LAND?" So I got to explain that I flipped my bike over backwards trying to do a wheelie and somehow didn't manage to get my feet down but did manage to get my hands down. Then she laughed at me. (Yea, I'm an idiot.)

So the bottom line is that I hyper-extended my wrists likely causing some slight tendon damage in the form of tearing. Whoops. I got some ice packs, some Advil (mmmm, wonder drug), some stretching exercises, and some instructions on how NOT to fall off my bike. (Yea, I'm and idiot.)

I was also told not to ride for about three days. Damn.

Ouch!

So I wanted to ride this morning. I didn’t.

I was playing around on my bike yesterday. I was just riding around in circles, over bumps, across wooden planks, over large concrete barriers, through water ditches, really just working on my balance and cornering skills.

Unbeknownst to me I had also decided to work on another skill: falling.

At the end of the ride I decided to try to do some wheelies while riding back to my room. From a technical standpoint wheelies are easy. You simply pull up on the handlebars, lean back, and pedal one time hard to rotate the front end. Oh yea, don’t forget to use the rear brake stabilize yourself to keep yourself from flipping over backwards.

I did all of the things accept for the last part. I was riding along at a moderate pace, I pulled up, I leaned back, I pedaled once hard, I flipped over really fast and hard. “Oh yea, the rear brake.” I landed on my back with my hands down and the bike on top of me still attached to my pedals.

I guess I’ll go see the Doc later today. I can move my hands and fingers. I can put weight on my wrists as long as they are straight. I just can’t put any weight on them if they are bent. They may be a bit hyper-extended.

So I missed my ride today. I was really looking forward to it too, so that hurts. Add that to my wrists that also hurt and you have the makings of a pretty crappy day.

Ouch.

How about a nice swift kick in the groin?

It’s another beautiful day in Baghdad. No really, today it is about 46 minutes (see previous post for my new measurement system). The heat isn't too bad, though you still feel like a turkey.

The kick in the groin is the wind. It is blowing at about 20-25 MPH. It is blowing so hard that flags don't wave, they simply stand straight out.

It feels like a huge hair dryer got turned on and you get to stand in it. I don't know if scientifically there is an opposite to wind chill, but I tell you, from anecdotal experience, there is. It is really sad when the wind adds no cooling effect, only a heating effect.

Going to the porta-john is an adventure. Three things happen. First, the door is glued shut by the wind, so you have to yank on it. Then, as soon as it starts to move it catches the wind and flies open nearly jerking your arm off. Finally, you recover and have to try to close the door, which of course resists at first until you really pull on it, and then slams closed flinging you into the back of the porta-john. All you can do is hope that someone put down the lid on the toilet because if they didn't, it could be touch-and-go there for a while.



So today I am simply living the dream. Tomorrow should be better. I am going for a bike ride in the morning and that is always a good time. And the temperature is usually below 95 degrees, bonus!

So, what are we cooking today?

Today is probably the hottest day we have had since, well, ever. It is brutal. Strangely, the thermometer doesn't seem to agree, but I did see the glass melting and the mercury draining out the bottom, that may have something to do with it.

I asked a friend of mine how hot it was. He replied, "Oh its a hundred and..."

"STOP!"

So here's the thing. Once it gets beyond 100 degrees it is no longer weather, it's cooking. Seriously, the difference between 104 and 116 is just this: At 104 you wish you would die; at 116 you actually do. I prefer 116 because at least that way the pain stops.

I think, in a god forsaken country like this, a much better way to measure temperature is how long it would take to cook something, like say, a turkey.

The temperature today is about 48 minutes.

I'm back, but is this home?

So, I have to wonder what to call home. Most people of course don't have this issue. They call where they live every day, "Home." Simple enough I guess, but not really effective for me. After-all, I live in Iraq right now.

I could call my parents house "Home", I know that would please them, but I don't think it is accurate. I don't really have a room there anymore. My room is now a crafts room, mom has her loom in there. I'm just grateful that they still store some of my stuff and let me sleep there on occasion.

I could call my apartment back in Germany "Home". Also not accurate. Right now it is just an empty apartment that is really just serving as an expensive storage room for my bikes and furniture. Doesn't really sound like a home to me.

So that leaves just one place. Here. I guess this is "Home". Such is the life of a Soldier that we have to call some pretty nasty places home. This one is mine I guess.

I got "Home" yesterday afternoon. I was exhausted but I went to work anyway. I couldn't get any sleep or I would have been up all night. You need to get the jet lag out of the way as fast as possible and this is one, albeit painful, way to do it.

An almost uneventful trip. I am telling people that I didn't intend to come back here, that I simply went to the airport in order to cash in my airplane ticket for some money to go on the run with. Unfortunately, there was a line, so I stood in it. Yea, next thing I knew I was on an airplane back to Kuwait. Damnit! Mostly not true, but I'm not telling you which part.

I left my sister's house at 7AM on Tuesday and I got into Kuwait at about 10PM on Wednesday. I then had to be back at the terminal for a flight manifest call at 3 AM on Thursday. Unfortunately a sandstorm of near biblical proportions kicked up around, well 2:59 AM. The flight was not canceled. Unfortunately, they didn't know when the storm would clear so they simply kept telling us to come back in 45 minutes for more info and to not go very far. They gave me a tent in which I managed a stunning 1.5 hours of horzontal sleep, my first real sleep since I woke up at my sisters house at 6AM on Tuesday. Unfortunately with updates every 45 minutes there wasn't really an opportunity to go back there and get any more sleep. I mean really, 10 minute walk each way, 5 minutes to stumble around and look for an open bunk (you only make that mistake once) and then 5-10 minutes to fall asleep. You do the math, that leaves you with like... 23 seconds of sleep. It just ain't worth it.

I did manage a few minutes of sleep here and there on the chairs in the waiting area with my head comfortably perched on a paperback. I was so tired that I think I read the same page of my book for about 30 straight minutes. The cool thing is that I kept getting a new meaning out of the page every time I read it. Oh yea, hallucinations are fun too...

The flight finally left Kuwait at about 11AM and I got into Baghdad about 1PM. My guys were so happy to see me that the normal 30 minute drive across the base to get to the airport took the guy coming to get me about 6 minutes. (Please remember that I was still hallucinating here.) As soon as I got in, by deputy handed me my 9mm and loudly proclaimed that since I had the pistol, I had to go to all the meetings from here on out. So much for easing back into it.

At 5AM this morning, after only 6 hours of sleep I was wide awake and staring at the ceiling. I guess this makes sense, that was about 9PM back in the states, I think my body was craving Troegs beer, and 9PM seems the logical time to wake up and drink it. Whatever the reason, there was no going back to sleep, so I got up, got some breakfast and came in to work. Great fun.

I guess the bottom line is that I am back at home and safe. This isn't much of a home, but fortunately I can see the light at then end of the tunnel and I am looking forward to starting a new one as soon as I can leave this one.

Evolution?

A friend sent this picture to me. We happened to be having a conversation about New Zealand, and the Kiwi, and then the fact that some idiot decided to introduce possum to NZ so that they would have something to hunt and would have some fur to wear.

Now a bit of background. There are no natural mammals on NZ, so the Kiwi took over the role of rodent. It lives on the ground, burrows under the ground, is flightless, and eats bugs, sounds very much like a rodent to me. You can probably imagine the ecological horror that ensued with the introduction of a carnivorous, quick breeding mammal to this environment.

I immediately set to thinking about how to rectify this situation and I came up with large packs of wolves, a suggestion I immediately discarded, even before I said it out aloud. My next thought was that all you really needed to do to control the possum population was build one long paved road in the middle of nowhere and drive up and down it, that would kill, roughly, 95% of them I think. Problem solved. My friend enjoined that this would be far more effective with armadillos.

Ok, some more background. Armadillos have a pretty good defense mechanism when it comes to predators. They curl up into a little ball and let their armor take the hits until the predator gets bored. In order to get them out of trouble initially, if they get surprised for instance, they jump several feet into the air. Sounds good huh.

So, lets imagine you are an armadillo, walking along this nice smooth black surface with an occasional white dashed line down the center. A light comes over the hill. You think nothing of it for a while and then you notice a light (armadillos aren't that smart here folks.) You think nothing of it, "Ooh, hey! A line!" Suddenly you notice a light really close to you. It still takes your pea sized intellect a few minutes to process and all the while the light gets closer. Suddenly you realize, DANGER! You leap!

Now a quick math problem. If a car leaves Dallas and travels at 60 miles an hour for two and a half hours, exactly what point of the grill of the car will an armadillo impact if it leaps two feet into the air one half second before the car gets to where the armadillo was previously standing, blissfully ignorant.

I think there is hope for the Kiwi. I bet they don't leap at the sight of cars. I hear they are even smart enough to stay off roads. Which is fortunate for them, that is where all the possum are.

I know you are my boss, but do I really have to listen to you?

It has been a busy week. I have been working on a new video for the Dagger Portal. I got it all done today and sent it to my boss for approval. It is infrequent that he doesn't make at least some change to a product I submit.

Today’s change was for me to change some of the pictures in the video so that there were more people wearing the 1st ID patch in the video.

Sounds pretty simple, however... What you must remember is that most of the brigades in Baghdad are all cut up with units all over the country. Let me explain. One of our units deployed early and is in east Baghdad. One deployed to the far west and is working with the Marines. One of them is in south Baghdad and for a while (and again shortly) they worked for a different brigade. Since we have been here, we have had ten battalions in this brigade and of the actual combat battalions, only one of them has been in the 1st Infantry Division. Sounds like a crazy way to run a war huh? So what does this mean to the video? Well, what it means is that I don't really have any pictures or video of people doing war stuff wearing the 1st Infantry Division patch. Oh, I have lots of pictures of a 1ID guy fixing a truck, or guarding a gate. I could have taken those photos in Germany!

Of course, I tried to explain this. This process was asymptotic to talking to a post. A post that interrupts you that is.

So I am going to scour my database for pictures of people with 1ID patches on their shoulders. I think there will be lots of shots of guys working at desks. All of the guys with the sexy hunter-killer jobs are wearing other patches.

Of course here is the real kick in the nuts. He also told me that I have to do a video of the people from the headquarters doing what they do. Now THAT should be a snoozer. "And here is Mike typing on his keyboard." "And here is Terry typing on her keyboard." "Oooh look, Kevin typing on his keyboard." "Frank! Asleep! On his keyboard!" I can't wait.

I will, of course, be featured in this video. Typing on my keyboard.